The Art of Being Present: Tony’s Well-Taught Lesson

This blog post, which originally appeared on the website of P4Strategies, discusses an encounter the author had with Hospice Austin volunteer Tony Corasaniti. It is reprinted here with the author’s permission.

The Unexpected

The evening was uneventful; I just needed a charger for my laptop (ouch, a $100 forgetful mistake). I walked into the Barton Creek Apple Store, grabbed the charger and ended up face-to-face with Tony for payment. Little did I know, I was about to receive a powerful lesson about the art of being present.

One thing is certain, reminders of life’s principles are always around us, constantly trying to get our attention so that we can use them; however, so many times we choose to ignore them. I was about to experience one of these reminders.

Tony noticed the “III” after my name on my credit card and asked about Jr. with the same name. I told him that my dad had passed; however, I pointed to my son, who was with me and noted that he is number IV.

A brief conversation ensued about people passing (he expressed his sympathies for my loss) and this yielded a heartfelt exchange. Very genuinely, Tony began to tell me about his work outside of Apple with Hospice Austin.

The Lesson

This was the point where the evening went from “uneventful” to one of the most memorable. Tony expressed the value of helping people die as comfortably and gracefully as possible. While doing this, he touched on a number of lessons he’s learned since volunteering with Hospice. He stated, by far, the most impactful lesson he had learned was how powerful and beneficial it was to be in the moment.

Tony said the most difficult part of being in the moment was exercising the discipline necessary to be consciously and completely dialed into the person in front of him. He had to train himself to be this way, otherwise, it would never happen.

As an example, if his patient was asleep, Tony would leave his phone off and focus on the person. He refused to lose his disciplined approach and consciously trained himself daily and minute-by-minute to maintain the state.

He couldn’t overstate the impact of his disciplined intent and how it has uplifted and impacted him in all of his daily interactions. I for one can attest to the impact his approach had on the quality of our conversation. Quoting Tony, “this conscious practice has deeply enriched my work and personal relationships. It positively affects each person I come into contact with daily.” I can see why, and my guess is you can see why.

The Impact

Quickly think of the last time you were trying to have a conversation with someone who was more interested in their phone, the television or any other surrounding item. Or maybe they used the opportunity to talk non-stop about themselves and displayed no interest in your thoughts. How did it make you feel?

Now, compare that to having a conversation with someone who was completely in the moment with you and your conversation. When you spoke, you knew they were listening to you. They were completely engaged and interested in your thoughts and ideas. How did that make you feel?

If you are like most people, the latter will allow you to not only hear what the person was saying, but also actually feel the impact of what they were communicating. I am sure you can distinguish a distinct difference in the way your personal chemistry reacted to each thought.

It’s not hard to imagine the contrast or understand which experience most people would prefer.

Now more than ever, in these challenging times, a desperate need exists to make our interactions the most impactful and meaningful they can be. This can be done in person or now, virtually, almost equally as well. A simple call you make to someone today may be their only communication. Make it awesome!

Whether you’re in a leadership role, a relationship or just having a conversation with someone, set yourself apart from the masses, and Just Be In the Moment! You will be glad you did, and more importantly, the person you are talking to will be glad you did.

As Teddy Roosevelt once said, “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Give people a reason to care!

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The Art of Being Present: Tony’s Well-Taught Lesson

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